Trapped in the Net...

in this post i'm going to write about how millions of people have become addicted to the internet. & i dont mean just liking it, i mean actually being ADDICTED to it!! i'm not going to critisise anyone for it tho. in fact i would be the first to admit that i myself am addicted....

i just can't see how people could possibly live without the internet... can u believe that people actually used to go to the library when they needed information on a topic??? imagine that... when you need to know something like: when the camera was invented, you'd have to get dressed, go outside, get in your car, drive to the library, try to find a parking space, go in & look for the book, read it & get the answers you need... then you'd have to drive all the way home again!! i bet life REALLY sucked back then... more so than it does now...

& what about porno??? with the internet you can find free porno & find pretty much whatever you're into... however back in the ye ol' no internet days you'd have to go into a news agents, petrol station or video rental store to buy a porno mag or video & suffer the embarresment of a judgemental till worker looking at you & thinking you're a perv... again, life must have been pretty crap in those days...

but now, we have the net... a net we're trapped in. imagine if the internet just completely stopped working tomorrow... it would be just like that south park episode. the whole world would descend into chaos... the world would come to a stand-still... everything is done via the internet, & i mean EVERYTHING.

So has the invention of the internet improved lives, or has it doomed us all because of one simple fact: nothing lasts forever. one day, the inevitable end of the internet will come & panic will ensue.

so, i'm gonna try & enjoy it as much as i can... to me its a god-send... although its kept me indoors for a few years now when im not working & hasnt really helped with my anxiety problems, it has given me & millions of other a window we can escape thru... on the internet you can be anyone you want to be... if i told u over MSN that i was a 6'4" body builder with long blond hair & a tan there would be no way you could prove otherwise... you can be anyone & do anything!! (btw i'm 6'0", chubby with long blond hair but kinda pale, so i nearly told the truth there... it was just an example...)

& isnt it strange how you get a nice feeling from seeing what some ordinary person on the other side of the world is doing when they tweet it on twitter?? maybe i'm alone in that... or maybe not!! thousands of people use it so it can't be just me!! i am also addicted to tweeting, i do it all the time... & blogging, i love blogging, it enables me to get my opinion on stupid matters out there... before you'd have to write a book or send a letter to a magazine or newspaper... now you can do it for free, w/ the help of the internet...

but dont get too comfortable, its sure to disappear some time... possibly sooner than you think.....

The Height Of Sadness...

so ive started using websites to increase my number of followers on twitter... i was skeptical at first, especially about paying, even tho it was only a few quid... but, i decided to just go for it and if it didnt work, what have i lost?? a few pounds... so what! what the hell! i'll take a gamble... so i did. & guess what?? its actually working!!

in as little as 9 hours my number of followers has gone up from 24 to 84!! & the counter keeps going up... i dont know exactly how it works because i never really looked into it, but i think its something along the lines of when people click the link in your RT (Re-tweet) they are taken to the website that gets u more followers... u need to follow something like 40 VIP twitter users & then everytime someone tries to get more followers they have to follow u before they themselves can get more followers for their tweets...

its not trickery as it is all explained before u start it.. its honest & it does work!! ive just looked at my twitter page & 3 minutes ago it said 84 followers & now it says 88! thats 4 more followers in 2-3 minutes!

maybe i'm getting a little obsessed with this??? perhaps... but i'm already a certified nut-case having seen a psychiatrist & having almost a year of therapy, anti-depressants & self-harming so it doesnt matter if i do something wierd :-P but the thing is... maybe i'm doing this & wanting thousands of followers so badly because ive never really done that well in anything... so i think this is just me wanting to excell in something. so getting 100s of twitter followers will give me a sense of accomplishment, even if i did cheat at it, thats not sad, is it?? *ahem...*

so what if i have an unquenchible desire for more followers, friends, subscribers & viewers on my various web profiles?! all i want is for my thoughts on my blogs to be read by hundreds of people... & with all these twitter followers i'm getting my blogs wont fall on blind eyes... yeah i invented that term, even if it is a rip-off the deaf ears saying, THIS IS THE INTERNET!!! I just want more people to know of me, thats not too much to ask is it???

...oh shit i am sad...

this is the height of sadness...

Human Contact...

Urghhhhhh....... I've had enough of it...

I wish there was a place i could just hide in... like a dark room underground, with a noise like a bathroom heater coming from the walls... a dark room with a nice warm hole in the corner lined with the material used for bed-covers & pillows... about 3 foot deep, 2 foot wide, nice & cosy...

It would be dark in there... but still have a little bit of light coming thru.. but be mostly shadows.. it would be so warm in there.. i could just curl up in the small hole in the corner of the dark room & just stay there forever...

my hair would grow reeeeeeeeeeeeeally long and would cover up my face... i would never see another human being, & it would be dark in my dark room, so what would it matter is my hair covered my face & eyes???

if only such a place existed, i'd drop everything & go there right now, & never come back...

Rocki Photos...

She's awesome.. (btw thats a burn mark on the carpet.. playing with a lighter, long story :-P lol)

Her little face :-)

Murdering a toy hedgehog lol

On her 2nd ever walk...

Her "Security" coat we got her for the winter :-)

Sleeping in the new bed we got her..

3rd Month Sick...

i haven't written on my blogger blog for about a week now so i thought it was about time to update it... i went to see my doctor 2day to tell him how i've been over the last few weeks... my apparent return to work was approaching & we had agreed that i see him just before i'm due back to work to determine whether or not i'm ready to go back into work... so, i told him the whole truth & he said that i should carry on as i am for now & signed me off work for another 4 weeks...

so, this'll be my 3rd month of sick with this anxiety & depression problem i have... i know that work is going to be pissed off at me because they thought i was coming back to work 2moro.. but hey, how many times have they let me down?? tons of times... all those times i wanted to take a half day but they wouldnt let me, then gave a half day to some bloody foreign worker.. the times i needed to leave early &, in their defence they did let me leave, but i got a bit of a stinky attitude from them... all the times theyve treated me unfairly.. then the time i thought i was going to be laid off.. i was thankful because i hate the place so much, but then the day before they were announcing the redundancies they turn around & say "oh actually we aren't making any redundancies" & i was absolutely gutted!!!

so, i consider this my revenge against a horrible company who treat the workers like shyte... so unfair... oh well, its one more month of freedom before i have to return to that dump... then i will DEFINATELY have to go back, or risk losing my job... life sux...

Cowboys & Native Americans

I've been thinking about cowboys... As strange as that sounds... It all started 2day when I saw my brother was playing a ps3 game called "call of juarez" where u play a cowboy in the wild west of early America..

As he was playing the game, I noticed the accent of the cowboys in the game.. Your typical wild west accent with the yee-haws & what not.. But it got me thinking: if these guys were fresh off the boats from England & Europe, how come they suddenly have cowboy accents?? Shouldn't they sound European??? Just a thought...

Well, that's about all I have 2 say on the subject...


-- Thats all folks!!

Home Alone (Sort Of)

So my mum, dad & younger sister are going on holiday 2 Scotland 2day, leaving just me, my bro & my little dawgy alone in the house for a week.. Sounds cool, yes? No...

My house is horrible & creepy as it is, even when it's full of people.. So it's gonna be even worse when it's just me & Goose (my bro) here :-(

I remember last year when they went to Scotland for a week.. It just felt so wrong without everyone here.. It felt lonely.. It just didn't feel right.

My house is so creepy, even during the day.. The floors creak, the pipes in the walls make scary noises, the gardens (front & back) are full of tall trees & plants, perfect for someone, or something, to hide in and watch me thru the kitchen window at night time :-( scary stuff...

So this is what I have to try & get thru for a whole week.. At least I have my bro for company (who btw is probably going to be the next Jeffery Dalmer...) and a small doggy who couldn't bite her way out of a paper bag.. Great..

Guess it's me, a puppy, & a psycho in a house 2gether for a week...

This is gonna be interesting...


-- Thats all folks!!

music..

ive always been a fan of rap/hip hop music.. since i was 11 years old, and im 20 now..

the rapper that got me listening was eminem.. i remember being on the school bus when i was 11 & 'my name is' came on on the radio.. i thought it was amazing.. it was catchy, funny, & just sounded awesome.. & since then i was hooked on it.. & to this day im still a big eminem fan, he always has been & always will be my favorite rapper... Relapse was a great album.

but recently, since i got an iphone & itunes, ive been able to find other artists who also make awesome hip-hop music, mostly lesser know people.. some examples of these guys ive only just started listening to are: cage, copywrite, chino xl, canibus, joe budden, yak ballz, the high & mighty, MHz crew, slaughterhouse & rhyme asylum... if it wasnt for itunes, i probably would have never known about most of these guys... that would be a shame, because right now hip-hop is going thru some crappy club/dance/gay music phase @ the moment & the majority of it sucks...

but luckily i found a whole load of new artists to listen to :-)

there was no real point to this, i just wanted to write something :-P

The iPhone 3G S is looking more & more tempting...

...I want one. I really want one. I MUST have one!

So I've been looking at them on the Carphone Warehouse website & they are getting even more tempting...

I know, I know, their isn't a huge difference between the 3G & the 3G S, it's just a video camera & faster speed... But I still really want one for some reason.. Maybe it's just because it's the latest one from Apple??? Probably.. I always get a hankering for the latest gizmos.. I guess it's just human nature 2 want the best of something...

Anyway, I've decided that instead of a black one, like my current iPhone, I want to get a White 3G S when I get around to buying one.. With 32GB of memory.. At the moment I only have a black one with 8GB of memory.. I thought it would be enough, but noooooo... I now find myself trying to pick the best stuff from my iTunes to put onto my phone. There's just too much!!

The 32GB iPhone costs £175 from carphone warehouse @ the moment, but it says that if I trade in my iPhone I have now then I will get £157 for it! Soooo it'll only cost £18 for a new 3GS!! That is VERY cool... :-P

But @ the moment, I still have 6 or 7 months left on my contract, & if I get a new phone now I'll have to pay off 6-7 months of remaining phone bill.. And I don't have that kind of ca$h at my disposal.. #%*?!@' hell...

Looks like I have to wait a little while longer :-(


-- Thats all folks!!

Spore..

Just yesterday I bought an awesome new game for my laptop called spore.. It's sooo addictive!!

Basically what u do is start off as a little cell which u design.. Using the shape shifting of a basic circle u can add parts & eyes, mouth etc. 2 it then ur ready to send it out on a journey of evolution!

U then have to choose whether u get along with other species that roam the world or make them extinct.. I try to make them all extinct :-P

Eventually u evolve & become tribes people, then civilisation people, then space people.. I've only got up 2 tribes people so far, but it sucks when u get 2 that part IMO...

But it still really cool up until that part. And might get better after it too ???

It is awesome tho... Well, back to playing :-)


-- Thats all folks!!

i don't get it...

why are people so obsessed with people reading their blogs & what theyve written on it?? i see all these adverts & stuff for trying to get as many readers/subscribers/viewers/followers possible, but why?? what does anybody gain from it??

to me, all my blog is, is just like a journal of thoughts & feelings... i dont particularly care if anyone reads it or not, but if they did that would be great :-) but im not terribly fussed if they do... so many people obsess over whether theyre getting 1,000,000 views or whatever, but i dont think its very important at all...

for me, this is just a place where i can write down whatever i feel like writing down & not be afraid to do so... then, in the future, i can go back to some old posts & see what i was doing or thinking, say, 6 months ago... it would be interesting to see how i have changed or developed as a person since writing the particular post im looking at...

just my thoughts on the topic...

Indy..

I just watched the very 1st Indiana Jones movie, raiders of the lost ark.. Amazing movie, a classic..

I can't believe I've gone my whole life, 20 years I think, without ever watching any of the indy movies.. I mean I've seen the new one with Shia LaBeouf (one of my favorite actors) but I've never taken the time to sit down & watch the 3 older ones, especially the very 1st one..

As much as I enjoyed the 1st one, and it truly was spectacular, I personally found that the 4th one with Shia to be better. But, maybe that's just me, being the young whipper-snapper that I am, preferring modern day special affects & actors (aside from Harrison Ford, still being a modern day actor)..

However, I still haven't watched the other 2 sequels yet, one from 1984 & the other 1989. I really should give these 2 a chance before I make up my mind on which one is my favorite, as I've already kind of decided that the one with Shia is my favorite.. I need to watch the others..

And 2moro I will, as they are all currently on Sky Anytime, & will be for a while probably, so I'm gonna watch those 2moro.. Then I can truly decide.. After watching the new one again :-) hey, I've gotta make sure!! :-P

Now this is cool!!

I've been on iTunes today (like any other day lol) & have been looking for cool apps to put onto my iPhone, as I only have 2 pages on my iPhone of apps, including all the standard stuff that comes with the iPhone i.e. Camera, phonebook etc.

Sooooo I decided to look on iTunes for more.. And more I did find!! Firstly, I downloaded an application called BlogPress which I am using right now to write this post. I have been looking for an application that would allow me to do this for a while. And I finally found this one, & at only £1.19 I thought it would be worth getting. And it was!! Now I can blog anywhere & not have to worry about memorizing whatever I want to write until I get home to my laptop, by which time I've usually forgotten :-P So yeah, for me, this is really cool :-)

The next thing I downloaded is what's called BoomBot.. It's a cool robot thing that says whatever u type into the word bar in a Steven Hawking voice lol.. It's cool.. & I'll probably get a few laughs out of it.. It only cost 59p so if I only use it for a little while it's not like I've blown a huge amount of dough on it.. So yeah, it's cool & funny :-)

Oh yeah something cool I downloaded off iTunes yesterday is easyBeats which u can use to make simple music beats with. I use it to make hip hop beats, but it is pretty limited as to how much u can do with it.. I was expecting a little more for £1.79 but hey, it's not like I've blown a weeks wages on it! And it's still fun to use, so I'm glad I got it :-)

I'm now looking for more apps on iTunes (preferably free ones lol) to download now, & I'll write about them when I've got them :-D

the futurama movies... part 2

ok, this is gonna be a quick one..

i just finished watching Benders Game & Into The Wild Green Yonder... they were both hilarious...

but my favorite would have to be the 4th one.. into the wild green yonder.. it was so funny i nearly pissed myself!!!

the scores:

Benders Game: 8/10
Into The Wild Green Yonder: 10/10

conclusion: it is my 2nd favorite cartoon out of my big 5, which are:

1. Family Guy
2. Futurama
3. South Park
4. The Simpsons
5. American Dad

nothing beats Family Guy... nothing...

gonna go watch TV & eat chocolate now :-)

the futurama movies...

i have all 4 of the feature length futurama DVDs & 2day, cos im bored, ive decided that im gonna watch all 4 of them & give a review of each & give it a score out of 10...

soooooo ive just finished watching Bender's Big Score... awesomely funny :-) but u didnt see enough of my favorite futurama character in it... zapp branigan... or my 2nd favorite: kiff kroker :-( they were in it, but only for about 10 minutes... but apart from that it was hella funny :-P so my score is a BIG score, much like Benders... 9/10 :-) very funny, but zapp & kiff should have been in it more...

i'm now watching The Beast With A Billion Backs, it just started... this is the 2nd one in the 4 feature lengths, and ive only seen the 1st 2, but we have the others on blu-ray, so gonna watch those afterwards... ive seen this one 4 or 5 times, so its safe to give my score of it: 9/10 again... amazingly funny, but a tad boring in some parts... probably cos ive seen it a few times tho... yep...

ok my stupid blu-ray player is fucking up so i'll watch & review the other 2 futuramas another time..

thx 4 reading :-)

starting my art work...

last night i set up an account on deviantART.com, a website which allows people to upload pieces of art that they have created.. i havent had a chance browse the art work from other artists yet, but i hope to do so 2day...

i am now trying to work out the kind of style that i want to use while drawing my art.. i'm thinking of doing a bunch of drawings in a pencil & pen style, where i draw the picture then use an ink pen or biro to shade or add some strength to the picture...

what i would really like to do is draw myself in various situations/places etc. but not sure where i'm going with it yet..

i have drawn 1 picture of myself & entitled it "Me Now..." which is just basically a picture of myself looking depressed with scars on my arms that i have.. i think its ok.. :-)

i want to draw others today, perhaps with the titles: "Me Soon..." & "Fantasy Me..." which will be pictures of myself but how i envision myself being as soon & one where i draw what i wish i could be...

but i also want to do other types of art work other than pictures of me.. i want to incorporate photography into my work some how, as i have just bought a new HD camera, which i shall use to create video blogs for Youtube & take photos for deviantART...

i think i'll get started now... :-)