Ive given up on therapy... given up on taking meds... given up on getting help...
it just seems pointless. why try & fix something when your just gonna die in the end? if something is doomed, why try to make it better??? at this point everything just seems like pointless shit. i'm just going thru the motions of life. not making any real effort in anything or to do anything... not being interested in making myself better... its just so utterly pointless i cant even describe in words how truly unneccasary it is...
it seems the only thing keeping me alive is my puppy. in my perfect world it would just be me & her & nobody else... & books... books are keeping me alive because i suddenly find myself craving knowledge that others have to offer in their literary work. there are, probably, millions of books in the world. i suppose as long as theres another book to read i'll stay alive.
i dunno what i'm gonna do today. i have a new book called "One Red Paperclip" that I bought yesterday & am now reading... maybe i could buy a bottle of whiskey, snuggle up on my bed & read it 2day & try to break my personal record for reading a book: 3 days. maybe i can read this one in 2??? well, if im druk off of whiskey then that probably wont be possible.
anyway, thats enough of my complaining... now onto the book...
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Hey russ Im sorry to hear you're going through all of these... do you know why you're feeling this way? I dont know much about these medical thing but has the therapy not been working or something? Yeahhh Rocki will be there for you! and you can always talk to me! Have a smiley face ! : http://images.funadvice.com/photo/image/96758/normal/Smiley_Face.gif
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